Mental health score today: 8/10
Wasted thoughts about Narcissist Dominic: 10
Sorry it’s been so long since my last blog. It’s been a crap week for thinking about Dom. Every time I go to bed, I close my eyes and wonder if he has thought about me at all. In fact I feel quite depressed about it and I’m missing him heaps. Then my nurturing parent kicks in and tells me to stop being silly. Do I really want more of the crap life I would of had with Dom. The empty weekends? The all or nothings?
So back to Tudor’s book. Don’t share your weaknesses with a narcissist. Apparently their ability to suss out damaged people serves them well. The ironic thing is that I had received counselling to overcome the abuse I endured as a child – I thought I was fixed. I was looking forward to enjoying my first normal relationship! However, after a couple of dates with Dom, I felt compelled to tell him my past abuse. Why? From that moment on, Dom gave me aftercare calls everything he left. That’s what made me fall in love with him. He appeared caring and thoughtful. I am still in denial that he lied about this. I still can’t understand why anyone would want to be so cruel to another human being.
I never knew what it felt like to miss someone until now. It actually feels like a really bad pain in my stomach and my throat. I hope this feeling goes away.